Each time I look at my left hand and catch a glimpse of my engagement ring, I think of something different.
Sometimes I think of the night I got engaged.
Sometimes I
think of wearing my wedding dress and exchanging vows.
Sometimes I
just get lost in the sparkle and stare for a few seconds too long.
And then
there are times I think of my grandmother, Betty. Or my other grandmother, Reda.
The story of
my engagement ring begins years and years ago. It was the early 1950s, and my
maternal grandfather, Sonny, was ready to propose to my grandmother, Betty. He
went to an estate sale and found a beautiful vintage platinum wedding set: an
engagement ring with a marquise-cut center diamond and two baguettes on the
side, and a wedding ring with a fishtail design of platinum and small round
diamonds. The exact age of the set isn’t known, but it’s been estimated that the
rings are now about 100 years old. A timeless set that had no doubt been
beloved by the first owner (or owners), and was beloved and worn by my grandmother
for many years.
In early
2010, my grandmother decided that she didn’t need to keep her original bridal
set anymore. After nearly 60 years of marriage, she had other rings that she
wore more frequently than the delicate antique set given to her decades before.
At the time, both my mom and I were in serious relationships that were on
the brink of an engagement. My grandmother offered her wedding band to my
mother, and her engagement ring to me.
I told Alex that my grandmother was offering her
engagement ring to me. Although I wanted him to have something to do with the selection
of the ring, I asked that he hold onto it and use it somehow in the ring he would
propose to me with (whenever that may be – no pressure!). As a sentimental
person, I asked that he keep the integrity of the ring intact – the last thing
I wanted was a jeweler melting it down and starting from scratch.
Around the
same time, my paternal grandmother, Reda, had mentioned to me that she had
several diamonds that she would like to pass down to her five granddaughters,
should they want to use them in their engagement rings. These family stones
came from different pieces of heirloom jewelry: the rings of her late sisters,
or fancy cocktail rings and solitaire earrings given to her throughout her 60+
year marriage to my grandfather, Red. I put a bug in Alex’s ear that he could
ask my grandmother for a diamond if he wanted to. I made it clear that it was
up to him if he accepted a family stone, as I didn’t want to step on his toes
if he wanted to purchase a diamond himself!
Fast-forward
a few months to September 2010. Alex and I drove down from South Carolina to
Gainesville to attend the Florida football season opener. As is tradition
in my father’s family, the whole family met up prior to the game for a tailgate
party: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – the whole bunch. I was enjoying
the time with my family in the early September heat and getting excited for the
kickoff of football season. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my
grandmother slipped a small box in Alex’s pocket that contained a ring that
housed what would be the central diamond in my engagement ring.
(Coincidentally, Alex asked my father’s permission for my hand in marriage that
same day, at the game during halftime: I guess football can really bond men!).
 |
| my grandmothers and I and our rings on my wedding day |
Jump to
October 15, 2010. I knew an engagement was coming and coming soon. We’d had all
the typical conversations a couple has before the guy pops the question, and
with all the family jewelry that had been offered to us lately, I figured Alex
would be proposing soon. It was a cool Friday night in Greenville, South
Carolina, and Alex got down on one knee by the river and asked me to be his
wife.
After I said “Yes!” with a lot of enthusiasm and
a few happy tears in my eyes, I just stared at the ring on my finger for a
moment, overcome with shock and amazement. I hadn’t been shy about telling Alex
about the style of ring I liked, but I wasn’t sure if he would or could achieve
that using my grandmother’s engagement ring, which was the most important thing
to me. And little did I know that he had gotten a diamond from my other
grandmother. Alex began explaining its pieces that made the ring a true
one-of-a-kind. It was stunning: the platinum setting and band with two side
baguettes, exactly as when it was purchased at that estate sale so many years
before. In place of the original marquise sat a round diamond from Reda,
different from modern diamonds because it had been cut in the 1970s, giving it
a unique sparkle. And around the center diamond was a halo of 16 round diamonds
purchased by Alex to complete the style of ring that I loved so much. Perfect
didn’t even begin to describe it.
After the proposal, surrounded by my family and friends, it was in the
restaurant light that I really got my first good look at the ring that housed
as much family history and love as I imagine any piece of jewelry ever could.
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| my grandmothers Betty and Reda |
My mom was remarried on May 28, 2011, and exchanged vows
using her mother’s original fishtail-design wedding ring that my grandmother
had given to her. Alex and I were married 6 weeks later on July 9, 2011, and I
exchanged vows using a ring Alex had custom made to reflect the history of my
engagement ring: a pattern of baguettes for Betty and round diamonds for Reda.
My bridal set is a literal combination of the three most
important things to me:
my mother’s family,
my father’s family,
and my husband.
My engagement ring is itself like a family: individual parts from different
beginnings, all beautiful on their own, but even more beautiful together.
No
part is more important than another.
It is an heirloom made of heirlooms; it is
two families’ histories paired with the new beginnings and promise that a
wedding brings.
Yep, I'd say Alex did pretty good.
